don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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