is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
