Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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