im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
