He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
