I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
