I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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