Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
