I'm laying in your front yard are you home
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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