have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
wow bdsm is so cute
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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