he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
