I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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