do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize