Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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