That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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