Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Everything about him screamed your future.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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