How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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