You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
