If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
