you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
