ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I FOUND THE LEGS
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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