I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
