i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
the raccoons are back...
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