He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
