so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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