dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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