I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
