Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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