Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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