I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
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Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
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I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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