You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
