If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
