That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize