PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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