he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I will be naked everywhere
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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