nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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