Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize