whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
