Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
