I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
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It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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