I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
