I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
