love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
