watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
