im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
