your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
