I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's not a walk of shame if you run
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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