Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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