The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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