I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
