I don't think brook has ever known best
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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