I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
