I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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