Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
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