And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
