overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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