At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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