It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
