She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
ttyl tear gas
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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