Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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