Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
