I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
