The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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