too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
