I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just cropdusted the office
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just puked most of my soul out..
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