I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
